We were in Primary 4 when Dorothy transferred into our class. It did not take long before she was looked upon as the leader of the class. I think her taller-than-most height and good scores provided the condition.
We started to get close after she joined the same Extra Curriculum Activity (ECA) as myself, the Red Cross Link.
I started going to Dorothy’s place almost every Saturday after ECA. We would chit-chat, listen to songs from her parents’ collection of oldies or watch an afternoon movie from rented videotapes.
The properties of our friendship changed when we were near mid of Primary 6. And I remembered that very day clearly.
Upon reaching her room, she started unbuttoning her Red Cross uniform. I turned to face away from her and looked out of the window.
“Why?” Dorothy asked.
“Nothing.” I said without turning my head, but it was no use, I could see her reflection from the window glass panel. She was taking off her bras. I closed my eyes.
“I just started puberty. So, there is nothing to see.” She said.
“Just…let me know when you are done changing.”
“Ok, I’m done.” She continued.
Her pair of small bumps could be seen through the fabrics of her white cotton singlets.
“What happened? Your face is so red.” She commented.
“Nothing. I think I should leave.” I walked out of her room, headed for the main door. Both of us were quiet when Dorothy unlocked the door for me.
For the subsequent few months, though we were still on talking terms, I kept my distance.
12 Aug 1995
Saturday, a night which I preferred to spend at home, except that I was invited to a friend’s birthday party. A karaoke session in this place called The Planet, situated at Clarke Quay. I took my leave after the cake-cutting.
I was zoning out at the taxi-stand when a burst of laughter from a distant brought my soul back. It came from a group of 5 gorgeously dressed girls.
Nope, look away. My mind interrupted.
While the girls walked past, I heard a set of foot steps changed course towards my direction. I shifted my sights up to see a friendly smile and instantly recognized Dorothy.
“Hi.” She said.
“It has been a long while since we last met. Like, eleven years?” She said.
“You are the one better in Maths. So, I would say, yes, eleven years.”
“You can still remember that!” Dorothy looked pleasantly surprised.
Turning to her friends who were standing at a distant, “Go ahead first, I will join you all shortly.”
Some things don’t change. Still the Alpha. My inner voice remarked.
Dorothy chatted with me till a cab arrived. We exchanged pager numbers and promised to keep in contact.
23 May 96, Europa Club 97
“Don’t tell me you came alone.” A female voice said.
I looked up to see a gorgeous-looking Dorothy.
“I came alone.” I said in a monotonous tone, amazed at my sense of humor despite being in a foul mood.
“Are you alright?” She asked.
“Oh, they were written all over my face?” I managed a weak smile and emptied my glass of Martell Neat. Breathing out, the burning sensation on the nostrils felt painfully good.
“Give me awhile. I’ll be right back.” Dorothy walked away as soon as she finished her sentence.
I went back into my own thoughts.
Some time later, Dorothy sat herself down beside me.
“Sorry, I took awhile longer. I told my girls to enjoy themselves.”
“Why? You don’t have to. I am fine by myself. Go join your friends.” I responded without looking.
“Nay, we hang out frequently. I’m sure they won’t miss me this once.” Dorothy said. “So, a penny for your thoughts?”
I was not prepared to share my misses, especially to a female friend, but on second thought, Dorothy’s concerns seems genuine and I thought to myself, Just purge it out. She may not remember it by tomorrow.
Funny thing was, by the decision to share what was in my mind, I instantly felt better.
“Let me get you a drink first. What would you like to have?” I said.
“Whatever you are drinking.” Dorothy pointed to my glass.
“Yes please.” Dorothy said.
I poured us our drinks.
“So…” Dorothy reminded.
“I am courting this girl. Her name is Mae. Just when I thought I was making headway, she would say or do something that shattered my hopes. It had been like 3 months plus and I still have not succeeded.” I started.
“And you are troubled over this?” Dorothy asked.
“3 months is not a very long time.” She commented.
Ya, come to think about it, it is not very long. Why am I feeling so down. I questioned myself.
Then I came to realize that it was my perspective causing my own misery.
Damned! I shouted in my head.
“Thanks Dorothy, you just straightened my thoughts. I am ok now.” I said.
“What? So quickly?” Dorothy looked puzzled.
Without answering, I lifted up my glass, “Bottoms up.”
And bottoms up we did.
“Seriously, what did I do? Were you pulling my leg?” Dorothy asked.
“No joke. I was really feeling down.” I said, showing her an I swear sign with my right hand.
“I’m confused.” She said.
“Let me see how shall I start.” I said.
I related to Dorothy the life that I had been living for the five years prior.
“So you see? I had unknowingly gotten used to fast gratifications. Self-doubt kicked in this time round.” I concluded.
Dorothy suddenly became quiet. She seemed to be in her own thoughts before finally saying in a low tone, “You have changed.”
There was suddenly an awkward silence. I could not really make out what it was, but I knew it had something to do with her tonality. I left it at that for that night.
30 May 96
Thursday night was one night that many other men believed to be an off-peak night for partying.
Coupled that with Vesak Day the day after, people of a certain belief would abstain from impurities like booze and sex. I was confident that it would be a good hunting night for me.
The patronage in Club 97 was as my prediction. While I scanned the crowd of females, I felt I was looking at a buffet spread.
I was quite happy when my sights fell onto Dorothy entering the disco.
Instant supply. Let’s start from her friends. My mind thought as I walked towards Dorothy.
“You seems to be in a good mood today.” Dorothy commented.
“Because of you.” I said.
“Who do you come with?” She asked.
“I’m alone tonight.” I replied.
“Great. So am I.” She said.
“I see.” I tried not to sound disappointed.
Inevitably, Dorothy & I shared the same table. Our conversations were mostly about our lives after leaving primary school.
“Eh, the other night, why did you say that I changed? Don’t people change?” I asked casually.
Dorothy suddenly fell silent, her expressions just like the other night before.
“You can choose not to answer if don’t feel like it ya?” I attempted a save.
After a brief moment Dorothy said, “It was my thoughts. Not exactly a disappointment, but more of my mental model towards you.”
“I don’t get what you mean. Can elaborate?”
“I remembered you as a persistently faithful boy. When you shared with me about how you felt for Faith, I envied her for getting your attention.” Dorothy said.
“Oh, Faith. I almost forget about her. That was only an infatuation.” I said.
“Remember your final visit to my place? I get to understand your action after finding out that you were in a relationship with a Malay girl from the afternoon session class. I respected you for that.” Dorothy said.
“Guess I haven’t shared that experience with you, I paid a heavy price for being faithful when I was in Secondary 3. Since then, I was not the same anymore. Negatively different though.” I smiled.
“How nice it would had been if you were not so good then. I mean, that time at my place.” Dorothy said softly.
I burst into a laughter upon hearing that.
“What?! Why are you laughing?!” Dorothy asked.
I rubbed a tear off the corner of my eye. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at your words. I was just thinking, if we were to do it then, I would only be shooting out urine.”
Dorothy laughed. “Ya, then, you had yet to even start puberty.”
A naughty thought flashed through my mind. “You know what? How about we find a place and continue from where we left off?”
She seemed to hesitate for a moment before nodding her head. We emptied our glasses before making our way out.
We checked into Amber Glory.
Once we were in the room, I sat myself on the bed while Dorothy stood inches before me. Holding both her hands, I pulled down gently. Dorothy bent forward slightly and placed her hands onto my thighs. While we engaged in a kiss, I palmed upwards onto her breasts to give a gentle squeeze.
“Undress like how you intended to, then.” I said.
Dorothy compiled, slowly unbuttoning her knee-length black dress. After the last button, she let the dress slide off her back. The soft fluff when the fabric fell onto the carpeted floor got me suddenly excited. I stood up and positioned Dorothy on all fours, onto the bed. I then flipped the right leg opening of her panties and went for the insertion into her already wet vagina.
Some time in the middle of the intercourse, somehow, Vann came to my mind. Ah, doggy-style. My mind realized the association.
When I felt that I was near the edge, I stopped moving but remained inside Dorothy.
“When was you last menses?” I queried.
“Huh?” Dorothy sounded as if she was just out from fantasy land.
“Just trying to be sure if it is safe to shoot inside.” I said.
“Better not, I…” She said.
I started banging hard without waiting for her to finish her sentence. I got what I needed to know.
“Arh, arh, arh…” Dorothy let out in sync with my thrusts until I withdrew for ejaculation. Dorothy let out a sigh and dropped herself flat onto the soft king-sized bed.
As I laid down beside Dorothy, she turned her head to face me, “You have good endurance.”
“Glad you enjoyed.” I said, my mind secretly thanked the creator of alcohol, whoever he/she may be.
I fell asleep shortly after.
While we were having another round the next morning, I felt it puzzling that the furthest Dorothy allowed was to unbuckle her white bras but not remove them. When we switched position to have her on top, I stole a mischievous groped on both her breasts which she quickly pushed my right hand off.
Damned! My mind let out. I felt a few small lumps and already caught a glimpse of what looked like bruises on her left breast.
Dorothy allowed me to fondle her right breast but covered the other with her forearm. I decided to leave it to Dorothy if she wanted to tell me at a later time.
For the subsequent couple of weeks when we had sex, I let her keep her bras on.
On few occasions, I was tempted to ask her about her breast but kept a hold on my curiosity.
While I must admit that sex with Dorothy was not as interesting –maybe due to that one part less– but I am grateful that she was there when I hit the wall during my pursuit on Mae.
Once, through one of our phone chats, Dorothy got to know that I was feeling down, she booked a chalet and invited me over. Over a bottle of Vodka, she listened quietly while I related my roller-coaster emotions. No questions, non-judgemental…Just listening and the occasional nodding. When I was finally done and felt slightly better, she undressed herself, led me to bed and serviced out the remnants of my pent up frustrations.
As I withdrew my defeated penis from Dorothy, my pager beeped. The display panel read 177155 4 followed by a two digits code.
“It was Mae! She paged a miss u.” I turned to Dorothy.
“You should give her a call.” She said.
“Yes I should.” I said. “I think you are my lucky star.”
While I was dialling Mae’s number, Dorothy gave a peck on my cheek and turned to walk out towards the balcony.
In the whole duration of my call with Mae, Dorothy remained at the balcony, drinking away the Vodka and occasionally lighting up a cigarette.
When I was done chatting with Mae about an hour later, I walked happily towards the balcony wanting to share my happiness with Dorothy. When I opened the sliding door, I saw Dorothy quickly wiped the tears off her eyes.
“What happened?!” I asked.
“Nothing.” She said in a soft tone.
I felt a sudden pain in my heart. Damned! Damned! My mind cursed upon the realization, not sure if I was scolding myself or what.
There was a short moment of silence before I finally managed a soft “Sorry. I didn’t know. I mean, I didn’t expect you to have feelings for me. So sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I didn’t tell you in the first place.” Dorothy managed a weak smile.
I took a step forward and hugged Dorothy. “So sorry.” I repeated.
“Don’t, please. I’m ok.” Dorothy assured.
“I could hear from the way you talked over the line that things are on the up side for you and her.” Dorothy changed the subject.
Frankly, I felt fucked up within and was actually not keen to talk about Mae but since Dorothy already made the first move, I followed her lead. It was the path of least resistance for me.
“Ya, she spoke nicely to me. I guess she must have felt uneasy not hearing from me for the past few days. I think it is only a matter of time before I get her.”
Soon, Mae and I became an item. In relative, Dorothy started to fade away slowly, to the extend that she stopped returning my page.
I bumped into Dorothy again few years later in Xanadu disco. I could not make out that it was her until when she was about few metres away, smiling to me. She gained a lot of weight.
“Hi, I almost could not recognize you.” I said.
“I stopped smoking.” Dorothy explained.
“Oh.” Was the only response I could give.
Dorothy sat herself at the tall stool beside me. I alternated my attention between chatting with her and scanning the ground for my potential Number 5.
I understood Dorothy’s intention when she shifted herself in front of me, blocking my views. Nope, I am definitely not a fan for plus-size, but I knew I had a decision to make.
For being there when I was down. Listening and comforting me. I decided to give Dorothy a repayment. We checked into Shangri-La Hotel that night.
“How do you always manage to last so long?” Dorothy asked after our session.
“Hope you enjoyed it.” I diverted. Some truths are better left unsaid.
She smiled and nodded her head. I watched her closed her eyes and slipped into dreamland.
That was our final contact.
Wish you well Dorothy.
– VV Cold