9 Jun 1994
Tornado Disco on a Thursday night was different. There was no queue at the entrance. The music did not sound as loud as the other nights and there was not a soul on the dance floor.
Among the patronage, I spotted her chatting with her friend. Our eyes met briefly when I walked past them.
When I sat myself on a stool beside the bar counter, I realized that I was hyperventilating.
What happened to you? Is it because she looks like Zoe Tay? I asked myself.
Curious, I thought I should just make friends with her to find out what about her that could take my breath away (pun intended).
And guess what? The thought of walking over to introduce myself set my heart palpitating.
I faltered. Suddenly feeling afraid.
Here’s the thing…If you continue to sit here, you will never get to know her. But if you make your move, there is a 50% chance of success. You decide. My mind rationalized.
Right. I decided.
A quick plan, a deep breath and off I went moving over to them. I made sure they could see me approaching.
“Yes?” She said as she looked at me.
“Yes.” I nodded.
Seeing their puzzled expressions – as expected – helped calmed me slightly.
After an intended brief moment of silence, I continued, “I came to seek answers.”
“Huh?” More puzzled looks.
Looking at my target girl, “My heart pumped rapidly the moment I saw you. To be fair, you are good-looking, but still, it was unusual for me to feel that way.”
“And now that I have a closer look at you, I am sure we have never met before.” I continued.
They nodded.
I extended my hand and introduced myself.
“I’m Sheena and she’s Poh Cheng.” my target said.
We shook hands.
I felt a bead of perspiration rolled down the back of my neck as I let out a breath of relief.
I shifted to join them at their seats. Sheena and Poh Cheng were easy-going and fun to chat with. We even hit the dance floor that night.
An information from our conversations that night — much to my dismay — was to learn that Sheena was already six years with her boyfriend.
For the whole of the next day, Sheena occupied my mind. It was a strong desire to have her as my girlfriend but I was not confident that I could beat a six years relationship. Those thoughts left a bitter sweet feel within my chest.
You know what? The number of years is only a quantity. You are four years with Bernis but is there really quality? No. Moreover, Sheena is only attached. They are not married yet. Think you should at least give it a try. My mind said.
Yeah. Right again. I picked up the phone and dialed her pager number.
I landed a date with Sheena. That night, we went for dinner followed by a chit-chat at Penang Road Open Space, a mini park with a few park benches. From our conversations, I learned that she was two years my senior. And coincidentally, she attended the same secondary school as Bernis. I also came to know that the boyfriend was her first and only one she had. From the way she described, I could tell that her boyfriend was a simple and honest man. But she felt it was getting mundane for her. I felt a boost in confidence upon hearing that.
By the end of that night, I could tell that we are into each other but I could also see Sheena’s hesitance. And I understood why.
For me, I was not in a hurry. I was already very grateful to be able to date Sheena. And of course, not that I had a solution to settle with Bernis, my other relationship.
__________
17 Jun 1994
We watched The Crow starring Late Brandon Lee who passed on while filming the movie. After that, we went Tornado to chill out.
That night, while we slow-danced to Air Supply’s Without You, I took the chance to whisper the chorus into Sheena’s ear, “Can’t live without you.”
Sheena leaned her head onto my shoulder and whispered back, “Me too.”
Her words melted my heart and we sealed our love with a kiss.
For the following five days, we would meet up straight after work for dinner, followed by either going to Tornado or chatting at one of the quiet parks in town. I would then send her back home at about three plus. Once I was home, we would chat over the phone till dawn before reluctantly hanging up, and prepare ourselves for work. Yes, five consecutive nights without sleep.
We stopped after reality of tiredness overcame us. And also since the fourth day onward, we started to experience increased frequencies of, what I called, split-second blackouts. As I thought back, it was fortunate that we did not meet with any mishap during those crazy five days.
__________
26 Jun 1994
Our first time was normal except that I shot inside her after knowing that her period ended the day before. Sheena shared that it was the first time she had sex without protection. It was thrilling for her and she liked it.
Not long after, we each managed to successfully cut ties with our other partner and began our journey as a couple. And I must say it was one of the most exciting relationships I had, especially when it comes to sex.
Once, she was giving me the head. Although it felt nice but still, I was uncomfortable to put my dick into a girl’s mouth. While ejaculating, I happened to catch sight of the movement on her larynx coupled by a gulping sound when she swallowed my energy. The sight and sound was therapeutic and my preference towards oral sex changed that night. Sometimes, I was secretly glad when she told me she was menstruating.
__________
I cannot remember which of her colleague’s birthday celebration it was that brought us to Sparks disco. We did not quite enjoy the place and took our leave after the cake-cutting. We decided to take the stairs down. It turned out that we had to take four long flights of stairs for every storey. About almost half way down, we halted our steps and started kissing.
“You want?” Sheena asked in a soft naughty tone.
I did not answer. Action speaks louder than words.
But the quickie was a challenge in itself. My double-quick-time thrusts made it difficult for Sheena to contain her moans which echoed off the walls of the spacious stairway. We ended up switching to blow job. No sound, no wastage.
__________
We also had a few sessions in one of the lifts situated directly opposite the entrance of Tornado Disco in Hotel Phoenix. That particular lift served the offices only. Thus no one would be using it after office hours. Other than Sheena and myself, the other people enjoying the process would be the security guard/s watching us through the CCTV. Keyword: “Don’t look up.”
__________
Another of our bold act was in the vegetated area along Orchard Boulevard Road, directly behind Bus Stop 09022. Watching cars speed pass the road while performing a stand-up doggy was a unique experience itself. The other parties enjoying with us were the mosquitoes.
__________
And our boldest act of all was Sheena giving me a blow job in the middle of an open field just beside Orchard Building. The feeling was really one of its kind. No tree or bushes. Just whole field of ankle-long cow grass. Darkness was the only cover we had. Still, we felt so bare, especially when traffic was still quite busy then at about ten plus.
__________
Of course, our relationship did not only consist of sex, sex and sex.
We frequented karaoke too. Sheena never cease to impress me with her vocals. Amazingly, she sounded like Late Anita Mui. The patrons would turn their heads towards our direction the moment Sheena started the first verse. Somehow, I felt proud for that.
We visited local attractions like Sentosa and Chinese Garden. Of all my exes, I had the most pictures taken with her.
__________
Cracks started to show near the fifth month of our relationship. The very obstacle that I thought we could overcome, inevitably crept in. A relationship formed by two third-parties would always be troubled with this thing called SUSPICIONS.
Despite my efforts in staying faithful to Sheena and my promise to marry her, the ghosts of our actions haunted her still. Her imaginations would run wild whenever we were not at each others’ side. My patience and assurance did not take long to wear off. Her insecurity ended us up in arguments most of the time.
In the end, she decided to go back to her ex. I was sad of course. But I was angry from the stupid reasons she gave.
“I don’t trust your looks.”
“My friends saw you with other girl.”
“He is earning more than you and will be able to give me a better life.”
“My family preferred him over you?”
Shortly after, she stopped answering my calls.
Ok, anger was an understatement. In fact, I almost went crazy.
But thanks to my previous experience from Rosa, I took a shorter time to calm myself down. I must also say that the appearance of Jag helped to cushion off quite a fair bit.
My relationship with Sheena lasted five short months. But it didn’t quite end for us.
__________
May 1995
Sheena and I met up to hand to me the invitation card to her wedding. It was slated to be a week after.
A few drinks later, we ended up having a quickie behind Bus Stop 09022, making her my first so-called recycled girlfriend.
Since then, we would meat up every once in a duration. The intermittence could range from few months up to a few years, depending on chance and how long it took for her guilty conscious to wear out, from the previous escapade.
__________
Nov 2011
I must admit that I took great pleasure dick-stabbing her. But realized that it was different from her perspective.
I remembered that night clearly…
After our session, I jokingly asked, “So, when shall we meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?” #Macbeth
“You know? Every time after we meet, I would be in a confused state for like, one – two weeks.” Sheena said.
“Huh? Why?” I asked.
“On one hand, I’m a happily married woman, but a large part of me had always wanted to be with you.” She said.
What crap was she talking about? I was confused.
“Leaving you wasn’t entirely my choice.” She said.
My heart missed a beat upon hearing her words.
“What do you mean by not entirely?” I asked.
“Apart from my insecurity and family pressure, my Late grandmother, who got Cancer Stage 4, played an important part. She told me it was her final wish to see me marry him.” Sheena said and started crying.
“It pained me to break off with you, you know?…You know how it felt like when I cannot choose to marry the one I love?” Sheena said in between sobs.
“I know.” I said softly. I truly did.
“You did what you needed to do then. Don’t cry.” I hugged her in consolation, but I was weeping within. And I hated myself for whatever hatred I harbored towards this poor girl.
“You know how it felt like to face my kids after sleeping with you?” Sheena said. “Ashamed, and that feeling is fucked-up!”
I was speechless, and hating myself more.
Since that night, I decided to spare her any future mental torments.
Sheena,
Thank you for loving me. And wish you well.
– VV Cold